Combat Gaslighting with Social Engineering

Gaslighting is an insidious practice, its goals are accomplished incrementally and over time

In a legal engagement it can start as a trickle or will arrive as a deluge depending upon how big the lies must be. Either way, after it starts, the intensity invariably ramps up. As a tactic, gaslighting relies upon attrition or "Death by a thousand cuts" and is an all-encompassing feature of gaslighting because the goal is to wear down and exhaust its targets.

They are telling you a lie with a straight face. You know it's an outright lie. Everyone knows it's a lie yet, they will not budge and continue to insist that their statements are true. In intellectual property cases, a corporation will steal a programmer's code and declare that they had never met the man even though that programmer is presently logged into his own code on their system.

They're setting a precedent, programming their victims with unknown expectations and intentionally destabilizing a person's ability to differentiate between what is and what is not true.

Many have observed that for human toddlers "denial" is arguably the first method discovered to avoid responsibility. Mom knows what's up, the child has committed to the lie and whatever'll happen is of no real consequence.

When denial has become a refined artform and is practiced in legal engagements, denial becomes very expensive. This simple tactic, when applied completely and without relent will make a person question their own judgement, memory, confidence and testimony.

The methodology is intended to elicit an emotional or reflexive response by attacking that which the victim holds most dear, such as criticizing a victim's parenting skills or children. A gaslighter may suggest that one never should have had children, or they will criticize their victims for a difficult familial situation, heck they'll probably share that if it weren't for all of the bad traits of their victim, they'd be a great person.

Gaslighters use the emotional responses of their targets to justify their claims of your instability or craziness.

When people do not have the whole picture of events, and they are being deceived and manipulated with only limited access to the truth contained in circumstances, it obfuscates their ability to make informed, clear and well thought out decisions.

Redirection is a digression from the actual topic to a different issue altogether. Gaslighters don't want to be held accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them. This type of diversion has no limits, it is applied to achieve both short term results and long term strategies.

"Equivocation" is regularly applied in this tactic to redirect responsibility for their behavior back onto their victims: "Why are you attacking me for this, when you do that?"

A person or entity that gaslights exhibit disconnects between what they say and do. It is an imperative that when navigating an interaction with a gaslighter that one tracks what they are doing rather than what they are saying.

Words to a gaslighter mean little; it is just talk. Pay attention to what they are doing.

Throughout the "long con" that is gaslighting, a gaslighter throws out positive reinforcement amid their stream of degrading remarks and conduct.

A gaslighter will go out of their way to praise their victims when that person has done something that directly benefits the gaslighter.

The offender is intentionally destabilizing a victim's reality and more prone to question their own reality.

It is a manipulation technique; this notion is intended to compel a person to turn to the gaslighting offender for the "correct" information, which isn't correct information at all.

The gaslighter knows if they suggest that your sanity is in question, people will not believe you when you tell them of this "abusive and out of control" gaslighter. It's a master technique.

Confusion is a necessary condition for gaslighters. People like having a sense of stability, normality and predictability

A gaslighters goal is to uproot a victim's stability by compelling their target to constantly question everything. This technique provides the opportunity for a gaslighter to attain an assumption of authority from which they can guide the path of the relationship.

This common technique for redirection and creating confusion finds a gaslighter accusing their victim of the very act for which they are being accused.

For example, a cheater will accuse their partner of infidelity. When practiced regularly the victim spends more time defending itself and is further distracted from the offender's own behavior.

Gaslighters will use people whom they know are easily manipulated and will back them no-matter-what, to align supportive commentary against your position.

They use this technique to further diminish your position and create the illusion that people lining up to support this person, whether they are or not doesn't matter, perception is reality. The goal is to make the victim feel isolated.

This is exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.